tlfan
diane kruger + poppy delevigne at the gucci party in paris ♥
Never Underestimate the Power of BullShit
A bull calf with high genetic potential may be reared for breeding purposes. It may be kept by a dairy farm as a herd bull, to provide natural breeding for the herd cows. A bull may service up to 50 or 60 cows during a breeding season. That's a lot of rumpy pumpy!
Interesting Fact #2
Any more and the sperm count will decline, leading to cows "returning to service" (to be bred again). More Fucking! A herd bull may only stay for one season since over two years old their temperament becomes too unpredictable. Only two years and you're out!
Bull calves intended for breeding commonly are bred on specialised dairy breeding farms, not production farms. These farms are the major source of stocks for artificial insemination.
So why is this Fucker selling them on Kalahari Ads for R160?? Does it really matter that they've "had enough colostrum"? Perhaps they've only got three legs...
A Friend In Need....Bloggers Conference
A brilliant blogger, Kelley over at Magneto to Bold has been
However, this ol' girl needs some sponsors ... go on give a few coins to the ol' lass. Every dollar helps right?
I wish we had a South African Bloggers Conference. Anyone know anyone who could organise such an event for 2011?
Potholes!!
Johannesburg is riddled with potholes!
Especially with all the rain we've been having over the last few months, they seem to pop up everywhere and they just get bigger and bigger over time. We have two outside our house which started off as something relatively small and its now grown into a full blown Monster Pothole.
Especially with all the rain we've been having over the last few months, they seem to pop up everywhere and they just get bigger and bigger over time. We have two outside our house which started off as something relatively small and its now grown into a full blown Monster Pothole.
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| Looking out on to the road from our drive way. Thats the small one. |
We cringe when drivers speed down our road and we hear "Kaplonk!" and there goes another person's tyre or rim. Our pothole is doing so much damage.
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| Standing in the road looking down our street |
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| the Monster Pothole |
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| to show you its size with my size 4 shoe next to it. |
There are a couple of local websites to report your potholes.
Motorists can report potholes in several ways. There are two websites, http://www.leadsa.co.za/ or http://www.potholebrigade.co.za/. You can call *120*1551# on a cellphone and follow the instructions on the screen (normal MMS tariffs apply) or type potholebrigade.mobi on your cellphone.Potholes can also be reported at roads@aasa.co.za
Black/Nude
1. 3.1 Phillip Lim Halter Lace Dress with Leather Collar
2. Helmut Lang Shaped Blazer
3. Jordan Scott Rounded Diamond Ring
4. Deborah Lippmann Nail Polish in 'Fashion'
5. Sobral Camile Earrings in Black
6. Club Monaco Ostrich Feather Clutch
7. Chloe Sevigny x Opening Ceremony Mary Ellen Clog Booties
Conversations With Megan
Megan has just turned eight. We had the following conversation last night.
Megan: There's a boy teasing me in my class. He's calling me "Sweetie Pie" but all sarcastic.
Me: Do you know what sarcastic means?
Megan: Yes! Like when you say "Oh yeah you look great" when you know they don't.
Me : Yeah, like that.
(Sarcasm is rife in our house - my kids had to learn to deal with it and understand it very early in life)
Me: *Gives the usual confidence booster/bully speech* Don't let anyone get to you, Megan. He's the silly little boy for calling you names. Insult him back! Thinking of something to say to him that will make him think twice about coming back and annoying you.
Megan: What do I say?
Me: Tell him to talk to the hand, hold up your hand like this, give a bit of the old attitude, then call him a Silly Little Boy. Boys your age detest to be called silly and little and boys.
Megan: Oh! *pondering*....Mum, do me a favour...
Me: Sure, Megan...
Megan: Lick my bum and tell me what flavour it is. Next Please! *holding the palm on her hand up with ATTITUDE*
Me : WHAT?!!
Megan very quickly: Like that mum?
Me : *laughing my arse off* Yeah just like that Megan.
With much disapproval from her Daddy...
Daddy: You can't say that!
Me: Why not?! That little bugger is calling my baby ugly names! He deserves some attitude and an insult or two.
Daddy: What if there's a teacher nearby. Then you'll be punished.
Megan whispering to me : I still think its funny *giggle*
So did I...
This is what The Boerewors suggested:
Megan: There's a boy teasing me in my class. He's calling me "Sweetie Pie" but all sarcastic.
Me: Do you know what sarcastic means?
Megan: Yes! Like when you say "Oh yeah you look great" when you know they don't.
Me : Yeah, like that.
(Sarcasm is rife in our house - my kids had to learn to deal with it and understand it very early in life)
Me: *Gives the usual confidence booster/bully speech* Don't let anyone get to you, Megan. He's the silly little boy for calling you names. Insult him back! Thinking of something to say to him that will make him think twice about coming back and annoying you.
Megan: What do I say?
Me: Tell him to talk to the hand, hold up your hand like this, give a bit of the old attitude, then call him a Silly Little Boy. Boys your age detest to be called silly and little and boys.
Megan: Oh! *pondering*....Mum, do me a favour...
Me: Sure, Megan...
Megan: Lick my bum and tell me what flavour it is. Next Please! *holding the palm on her hand up with ATTITUDE*
Me : WHAT?!!
Megan very quickly: Like that mum?
Me : *laughing my arse off* Yeah just like that Megan.
With much disapproval from her Daddy...
Daddy: You can't say that!
Me: Why not?! That little bugger is calling my baby ugly names! He deserves some attitude and an insult or two.
Daddy: What if there's a teacher nearby. Then you'll be punished.
Megan whispering to me : I still think its funny *giggle*
So did I...
This is what The Boerewors suggested:
 |
| WHAT |
 |
| EVER |
 |
| LOSER |
I'm no model and I'm okay with that because I really don't want to look like a Whippet or a Skank Ass Ho - 55
Its Freaky Friday
Lets get Jiggy
Put yer party had on and
Dance
Dance
Dance
Wiggle your bum and shimmy those shoulders
Grab a partner, girate a pose and smouler
A glass of wine should help the mood along
Some funky music to sing-a-long
Yeah its Friday
And its
P-A-R-T-Y
time.
Lets rock it, Fuckers!
I could totally work ANY of these bitches...
La-Dee-Fuckin-Da its Oscar time again!
Oscar Nominations for 2011 Academy Awards are in and surprise, surprise one film dominates as usual to make it the most boring Awards Ceremony eva!
So be sure to tune in to the most predictable show on earth on the 27th of February 2011
After winning practically every award in its path, The Social Network is a lock for a nomination, and will probably win Best Picture, as well. The only film standing in its way is 'The King's Speech,' which just made an impressive showing at the BAFTA nominations and is classic Oscar bait.
Wouldn't it be nice to watch ONE Oscars Ceremony and NOT know what is going to happen?
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| Tara Reid flashs a bit of nip |
We watch, anticipating one of our much-loved celebrities to trip over her Versace gown and Jimmy Choos (that she got for fucking free) and perhaps flash a glance of her knickers down the 500 foot red carpet or fumble and make a complete hash of her acceptance speech and make us giggle.
We wait for the Famous Fuck Ups because that's the only entertaining thing about the over-rated annual Ceremony.
We wait for the Famous Fuck Ups because that's the only entertaining thing about the over-rated annual Ceremony.
Just imagine sitting through a fucking 25 hour show with pimped-up, moist-eyed celebrities thanking their husbands, mothers and dogs for supporting them and displaying their acting technique by performing on stage to be all surprised when their name is called.
It's so fucking fake!
It's so fucking fake!
Switch it up a bit, Oscar ol' man! Do something different! I'll bet you a month's salary that its the same 6000 boring old members that vote every year?
No wonder it never fucking changes - break the boring tradition...
...show us some more tits 'n ass!
...show us some more tits 'n ass!
Last Year of the 30s....
Yes, me lovelies....this is my last year in my thirties and it feels daunting. Everyday I notice a wee bit more sagging of my skin all over and I notice the wee crows feet near my eyes. Its really sad when I look in the mirror and I know I will never be able to turn back time. So, I have come to the conclusion that, either I have to accept it or I need to embrace plastic surgery, big time!
Well, I have no extra dosh for plastic surgery, which I’m not afraid of (for the record) and I wouldn’t mind going that route at some point. So, I suppose I need to start accepting it, which I have... okay not completely, but I’m certainly getting there.
When you get to my age, you worry less and less what others think of you, physically and as a person. You're pretty comfortable in your own skin and very opinionated. The "set in your ways" is starting to kick in and it starts to mean less and less if someone doesn’t like you. I don’t wonder or try to figure out why someone doesn't like me any more. I just figure you can't please everyone and you're not everyone's cuppa tea. You sorta say to yerself “Fuck ‘em” and move on to the people that really matter.
I'd rather focus my energy on the people who do like me whether I'm old or young, fat or thin, the others can move along swiftly and look the other way. Thank you very fucking much.
Thing is, I'm still the same person inside. My mind doesn’t age. I still feel like the silly 20-year-old and often act like it. I still wear pigtails in my hair when I feel like it. I still skip down the street when I’m happy, I still do hand-stands against the wall with my kids and watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. I still play ring-a-rosie the girls and now I just fall down harder, but I am well-padded in that department, so no need to worry folks!
Lets get to the point, shall we?
The inevitable, big 4-0 is around the corner for me and I’ve been thinking about chopping all my hair off. A colleague recently did it and it looks fucking fantastic on her!
There is nothing worse than mutton dressed and lamb and, I know it contradicts what I just said about worrying less about what you look like and what others think of you, but I don’t want to look like a ridiculous old hag with long straggly hair and a face like leather. Its just nasty and witchified.
Now, it took me a long time to embrace and welcome my red locks as one of my good features. I always got teased at school for it and got all the usual ginger names like copper-top, Duracell, carrots and it was horrid. It scarred me for life. I’ve had my hair long for nearly 20 years now and I’ve come to love the length and I finally love the colour too. I get many compliments about my hair but I wonder if its not time to get real, face the music and get a style that's cropped and trendy.
I need yer help here, your honestly.... Am I starting to look a wee bit too old for long hair? Could I pull off a short cropped style without looking like a fucking chubby pixie?
Well, I have no extra dosh for plastic surgery, which I’m not afraid of (for the record) and I wouldn’t mind going that route at some point. So, I suppose I need to start accepting it, which I have... okay not completely, but I’m certainly getting there.
When you get to my age, you worry less and less what others think of you, physically and as a person. You're pretty comfortable in your own skin and very opinionated. The "set in your ways" is starting to kick in and it starts to mean less and less if someone doesn’t like you. I don’t wonder or try to figure out why someone doesn't like me any more. I just figure you can't please everyone and you're not everyone's cuppa tea. You sorta say to yerself “Fuck ‘em” and move on to the people that really matter.
I'd rather focus my energy on the people who do like me whether I'm old or young, fat or thin, the others can move along swiftly and look the other way. Thank you very fucking much.
Thing is, I'm still the same person inside. My mind doesn’t age. I still feel like the silly 20-year-old and often act like it. I still wear pigtails in my hair when I feel like it. I still skip down the street when I’m happy, I still do hand-stands against the wall with my kids and watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. I still play ring-a-rosie the girls and now I just fall down harder, but I am well-padded in that department, so no need to worry folks!
Lets get to the point, shall we?
The inevitable, big 4-0 is around the corner for me and I’ve been thinking about chopping all my hair off. A colleague recently did it and it looks fucking fantastic on her!
There is nothing worse than mutton dressed and lamb and, I know it contradicts what I just said about worrying less about what you look like and what others think of you, but I don’t want to look like a ridiculous old hag with long straggly hair and a face like leather. Its just nasty and witchified. Now, it took me a long time to embrace and welcome my red locks as one of my good features. I always got teased at school for it and got all the usual ginger names like copper-top, Duracell, carrots and it was horrid. It scarred me for life. I’ve had my hair long for nearly 20 years now and I’ve come to love the length and I finally love the colour too. I get many compliments about my hair but I wonder if its not time to get real, face the music and get a style that's cropped and trendy.
I need yer help here, your honestly.... Am I starting to look a wee bit too old for long hair? Could I pull off a short cropped style without looking like a fucking chubby pixie?
